Joke of the Day

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

" See you next month"

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

WTF, you think these are all originals ? lol

Z: Let's have a peace conference in Switzerland. No Russians!

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an alter boy.

Whats the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?

One smells like fish and has and mustache, and the other is a walrus.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Hey, Joker, I didn't know this side of you...

Let me try mine...

How do you get a guy pregnant?

Ask her to say I am a man.

The question itself does not result in pregnancy.

OK, just for you...

Ask her to say I am a man and I am pregnant.

Better now?

It's an alternative to a very old joke:

Q. How do you get a nun pregnant?
A. Fvck her.

Q: Can a faggot fvck a nun?
A: Yes. When the other faggot self-identifies as a nun.

He's obsessed by the subject. Probably yearns for it.

Here's one for today:

A couple were in bed one night when the phone rang.
The man picked up the receiver, listened for a while and said, "How the fvck would I know? I'm not a weatherman"' and slammed down the phone.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Wrong number. It was a guy asking if the coast was clear."

I have a better one...

Q: Can a faggot fvck X?
A: Yes. When the other faggot self-identifies as X.

Now, it's up to the joketeller to come up with X to make his friends laugh.

What can X be...Hmm...

...an 8-year-old boy
...a cat
...a corps

...and I am just scratching the surface...I just invented a whole class of faggot jokes. Pure genius...

Why are titties like the sun?

You can only stare at them for a very short time but if you wear sunglasses you can stare as long as you want...

How do you know what they look like?

Right now, I'm trying to finish writing a script for a p0rno movie.

Unfortunately, there are just too many holes in the plot.

...and how many a-holes?

A woman walked into a pub and asks the barman for a double entendre.

So he gave it to her.

A lame faggot joke:

A woman walked into a pub and asks the barman for a double entendre.

So he gave it to her.

Somebody forgot to take their Ritalin today f

How does a woman scare a gynaecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Do you know what's a woman?

Yes, Though Largactil would probably suit him better.

Hey, jon, what is a woman?
I am asking since you used this term. You see, darling, "woman" - just like a "mother" - is hate speech. It's a "menstruating person" according to the LGBT nation.

He must have a really dull life. He probably thinks he can gat under people's skin but doesn't realise that he's just boring.

Do you read all posts here? Try jon357 if you want boring...
Watching paint dry is like a good action movie ...

Q. Who makes more money per week, a prostitute or a drug dealer?

A. A prostitute, because she can wash and resell her crack.

Have you seen one?