Yes, we are fu*cked up because we are matriarchal
No, we aren't matriarchal. You simply want to blame everything on women.
Unless, you mean: matriarchal=civilised and patriarchal=barbaric :)))
the Taliban are patriarchal
So are majority of Afghans who were supposed to fight with them. The same was in Iraq with ISIS - they were taking over cities, towns and villages often without much fighting.
and that is why we lost in Afghanistan
We didn't lose. The Afghans did. Even though they were given everything on a silver plate. I think that one of the reasons why the gave up, often without fighting, is that they are a patriarchal society and for men it doesn't make much difference whether girls will go to school and what women are going to wear. Maybe some of them even prefer to go back to the old ways when women had no rights. It seems it's your sentiment also, so you should be able to understand them :)
Also, according to this analysis - apparently Afghans lost with the Taliban from Pakistan:
facebook.com/100063696510577/posts/221950436604839/
And:
bbc.com/news/world-south-asia-11451718
"The Taliban, or "students" in the Pashto language, emerged in the early 1990s in northern Pakistan following the withdrawal of Soviet troops from Afghanistan. It is believed that the predominantly Pashtun movement first appeared in religious seminaries - mostly paid for by money from Saudi Arabia - which preached a hardline form of Sunni Islam."