Joke of the Day

This joke also involves an Iranian and, as Alien pointed out, different grammatical tenses he he


You might have been a good engineer, Novi, but you are absolutely hopeless at telling jokes.

It was not a joke. It was an indictment.

Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist!


Here is one the Eurps wont get...

Why were there only 500 Mexicans at the Alamo?

The only had one chevy! lol

I don't get it.

Along the same line...

It's good to win wars.
Winning an argument with the wife: a disaster.

They only had one chevy - now better?

You didn't get my Barbie joke, either, but you are excused since you live in a sane country. I don't anymore...
Now, if you want to keep your sanity, stay close to Russia and away from woke Western imbeciles.

A Russian joke:

Two bricks, one young and one old, are flying through the air and having a discussion:

- Let's fall on someone's head!
- But there isn't anybody out?
- Look, over there is the foreman.
- But he's wearing a protective helmet?
- So what?! Look, "Petroooooovich!"

The foreman raises his eyes to the sky:
- What?

@Torq
Back in the 70s and 80s you would see families of Mexicans all crammed into one car ( usually a chevy) driving around town. They could get like 10 ppl into one vehicle.

There's a chance Russia will get very close to me in the coming years ha ha


All right. I get it now. 10 but not 500, so the joke was based on exaggeration. Thanks.

Another joke featuring bricks:

A brick is lying on the ground, soaking up the warmth of the sun. Overhead, a flock of geese is flying by. One of the geese yells to the brick:

- Brick, come fly with us to the South!

Instead, the brick lit up a cigarette.

OK, that's the 3rd joke today that I didn't get. I'm out of this thread.

@Torq

In the first brick joke, Petrovich got nailed in the face by a brick.

In the second joke, the brick could not be bothered to fly South.

What is there not to understand?

Who's Petrovich? How come bricks are talking? How is it possible for a brick to smoke a cigarette?

No, forget it. I don't want to know.

*slowly withdraws from the thread*

Petrovich is you and me. The brick represents life.


How is it possible for a goose to speak and understand compass navigation?

Why doesn't life want to go South? It's nice and warm there.


Exactly!

OK... I will invent my own Russian joke now...

There are two elephants playing poker in a swimming pool. Suddenly they are approached by Petrovich carrying a brick in his hand. "Excuse me, gentlemen, do you know what time it is?", asks Petrovich. One of the elephants picks his nose and says: "Probably the green one". "Damn it!", shouts Petrovich, "too bad I don't have any spare change." The brick sighs and flies South to warmer countries.

Excellent!

Now I will pretend to be Kania:

1) Do you know elephant IQ does not allow them to play poker?
2) Green is not a widely recognized time format.
3) Petrovich not having spare change paints him in a very negative moral light.

Now, that was actually funny. :)

Hey, T, that was lame. Mine is so much better:

Mommie, why does my Barbie have a penis?
Because she used to be a boy.

...and you hurt my feelings with your review...

Name 3 things you cant give a black guy?

Black eye, Fat lip and a Job

Husband: Baby, did you change the password on our computer ?
Wife: Yes Honey, I did.
Husband: And what did you change it to ?
Wife: Our wedding anniversary
Husband: (under his breath mumbles) B!tch !

Thats a good one!

Mister President, how much are you prepared to spend defending Ukraine?
Whatever it takes.
How much are you going to spend defending the United States from the invasion?
I will let the American president worry about that.

Pete & Stosh go to the Pub for some suds and male bonding.
After a few beers Stosh says to Pete, "I have decided to divorce my wife."
Pete asks, "Why would you do that Stosh ?"
Stosh says, "because she hasn't talked to me in months."
Pete replies, "you might not want to be so quick on that Stosh, women like that are hard to find."

Hey, you want good humour - check out this girl...



Hey, T, that was lame.



This one is good too...



... Bobi - check out no. 5 :D

Novi goes to an upper end restaurant and is stopped at the door and told that he can not come in.
The hostess calls security immediately.
Novi goes ballistic and says, "Am I not on your reservation list ?"
The hostess says, "Yes, that's why I called security."

Because you are Novi and love it!
====


Novi is a genius and he can give a black man a B Job!

Joker says to his wife, honey, have you seen my hair brush, I have been looking for it all morning.
Jokers wife replies, "what for ?"

Johnny Reb is making sweet love to a freshwater fish, when suddenly a bellowing voice from above asks:

- Plus two, or minus one?

Startled, Johnny is momentarily lost for words. Regaining his composure, he replies:

- Plus two!

Nothing happens, and after some time Johnny resumes having sex with the Northern Pike.

@Bobko
This is some abstract joke.