Poland`s aid to Ukraine if Russia invades - part 10

Thanks for this advice, sir!

I meant more, that our brotherly countries were always similar in their ability to withstand great suffering.


Россия - Щедрая Душа!

We have Yorkshiremen for that.

That at least makes me chuckle.
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It is just a fact that doesn't care about your feelings. lol!

Soft and white as pudding? I doubt they match your african fellow citizens.

"Talking cannon fodder" is something I will have to use with my Ukrainian friends now.


Guys, guys...

Crow would tell you, if he was here, that we all have a common Sarmatian penis. This is what matters - not length, diameter, elasticity.

"Shovel with eyes" for Tajiks and Uzbeks

Is it like in this jocke - look who is talking? Every Russian man is potentially talking canon folder.

Let's cut the anti-Russia hysteria...

On Jan 27, 1945, the Red Army liberated Auschwitz. On that day, Germans stopped gassing inmates.

Good enough for me.

Meanwhile in the real world...

In Malmo, Sweden, tens of thousands of people demand Israel's removal from the Eurovision Song Contest - Bild

The protesters called for an "intifada" - an armed struggle against Israel, demanded to "send the Jews back to Poland" and chanted "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free."

Eco-activist Greta Thunberg was also spotted at the protest.

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Talking about dicks, anyone seen Pawian recently? He hasn't been around in a while.


I'm all for it if they take their IDF and nukes with them.

Well....the voters told differently! Maybe Israel will even win?

The bus full of jews brakes down on their tour to view Oswiecim. The driver looking for help knocks at the door of an old Polish man.

"Hello, i am driving a group of Jews to Oswiecim and my bus have broken down, can you please help me?"
"How i can help you good man, just look, i have such a small oven"

In case you are thinking of quitting your day job and becoming a stand-up comedian: don't.

Not the best Auschwitz joke, agree.

I have some truly terrible ones. Look:

Two Jewish children are sitting on a roof, observing a chimney.

A German passerby yells from below, "Children, what are you doing?"

"Waiting for our parents," they reply.

One more:

Two German women are taking a leisurely stroll through the grounds of Auschwitz. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, a Jew appears and snatches a purse. Before they know it, he disappears amongst the barracks.

One woman asks the other: "Did you manage to get a good look at his face?"

The other replies: "No, but I managed to write down the number!"

Ok, straight off to hell for me now!

I have one even worse:

Q: What is the favourite Jewish car make?
A: GAZ.

I'll take my coat...

How many Jews fit in a Volkswagen?

506. 6 in the seats, and 500 in the ashtray.

Rapidly moving on...

Why did so many Jews go to Auschwitz?

The fare was free.

Finally,

Hitler has been burning in hell for dozens of years for all his sins. Finally he is cleansed and he enters the Kingdom of Heaven.

God asks him: "What would you do if you could return to earth, Adolf?"

Hitler answers: "I would gas Jews!" Angrily, God sends him back to hell for three more years.

When Hitler returns to heaven, God asks him again the same question, "What would you do?". However, Hitler again says: "Gas the Jews." Again Hitler is sent back to hell for three years.

When he comes back, God asks him a third time: "What would you do if you could return to earth?"

Hitler has thought over the whole thing and says: "I would build some beautiful highways. .. ."

God asks then: "To what places would you build these highways?"

Hitler answers, "From Prague and straight to Auschwitz."

Forgive me, a sinner.

I have even shorter - Polish concentration camps :)

This thread was bad enough when it descended to all the penis talk but now we brought it to the brand new low.

I expect suspensions.

In case it happens, see you in 9745923459 seconds (or whatever the penalty will be).

Polish-Russian misunderstandings upsets me very much.

You people wants to f*k us Serbians? As if you don`t know we have bigger problems at hand.

I learned all these wonderful jokes in America!

American racist jokes are the best in the world - I suppose this is a symmetrical reaction to the greatest wokism on Earth.

I had a guy in my year at Columbia who was from Tennessee... the jokes he told about black people cost me a few ribs.

Just in case the others on the forum decide I am some kind of xenophobe supreme - know - that 80% of my joke catalogue is about Russian retardation. It's just not so much fun, giving Poles ammunition to use against me.


The last thing I wanted to do.

Build concentration camp for Albanians, Croatians and Bosnyaks?

Newton's Third Law works in sociology too, I suppose.

As for Russian jokes, I remember there was the entire series of Radio Yerevan jokes, or the jokes about "a Pole, a German and a Russian", but although it made fun of Russians and the USSR, you could sense an undertone of sympathy in them.

Kostya will have a heart attack reading this, but I really believe Poland is a true bastion of hidden Russophilia. :)


Ooops... I can already smell what you stepped into. :D

We tries to save ourselves from such a fate. They all have pro-nazi regimes and seek to destroy us for thee sake of the dark side.

You have also offended the Albanians?

Do you think Poles want to live like russians with no freedom or dignity?

Seriously...

@Torq

In Russian jokes we're almost always the dummy.

In Stalinist times, most of the jokes were truly corrosive to Russian self worth.

It's fine shooting these jokes between each other, but when it's foreigners telling us these jokes back - of course it's not so pleasant.

Gallows humor has been a feature of Russian life for centuries, as a self defense mechanism against our surreal reality.

The American/German jokes above, I think belong more to a "Executioner Humor" rubric, than gallows humor, haha. Making jokes about people you put in the oven - I can respect that of course - but that's something that doesn't really fly in Russian humor. Same with American jokes about lynchings - respect - but a different style.


Ahahah. Kostya you finally really f*cked up.

Now with Xi on your side you can buy more effective equipment...

You should take the English approach, laugh at yourself as much as possible. So when you laugh at others, it's merely dripping water and not a rainy day

Who does this? Seriously! Call me a dummy but I never heard such jokes in German/Germany....these have been my first and I couldn't laugh, not even smile....and I wonder who can!

Russians take the p*as out of themselves more than anybody else, lol. What are you talking about?

If anything, we have a catastrophically low self regard.


You must be from a very good family, and have surrounded yourself with very good people.