Empathic on all civilian suffering but neutral on the complete situation.
You cannot be both.
There are many events of the horror scale - from Katyn and Dresden to Auschwitz and Treblinka.
10/7 is the worst - not by numbers but by how the criminals view what they did and the support they get from college morons all over the world. Germans and Russians, to their credit, at least knew that what they did was evil and tried to hide it.
The new criminals brag about the rapes, torture, and murders and promise more of the same. Under these conditions, neutrality is sick.
So, pointing to truthful but ugly traits in the group of people in your mind raises to a level of xenophobia?
Was the Nuremberg trial and executions xenophobia?
Hamas deserves exactly the same. War crimes do not need high numbers.