The situations had nothing in common
The Warsaw pact and Yugoslavia forced nations into an international body which its' respective people had little to no sympathy for. Just like Poland was forced into the Soviet sphere of influence, so was Croatia into Yugoslavia.
If it was right to let Poland choose its' own path, it was also right to let Croatia do the same. Or as one German politician put it: "Force is all that kept the Warsaw Pact and Yugoslavia together. We desperately urged the Soviets not to use their tanks to supress the demonstrations in Leipzig. Therefore we can not ask Belgrad to use tanks against the people in Zagreb."
Yugoslavia was a country with problems that probably could have been solved
Perhaps Yugoslavia could have survived partly intact with e.g. Montenegro still being a part of it. That chance was however squandered by the Serbs when they alienated the other people with their belligerent stance.
Everybody soon realized that Croatia and Slovenia were lost and would not remain part of it unless violence was forced. And knowing today what kind of people were in charge, violence was always inevitable, except maybe if the West had intervened massively militarily early on, but that was never a realistic option.
Anybody who now argues that the recognition of Croatia was premature simply ignores the realities of the situation. Germany not only realized this earlier than others, it also paid off strategically for the West. Slovenia and Croatia are nowadays firm Western allies partly out of gratitude for this early recognition.
Or in other words, if you think recognizing Croatia was wrong, you should also think that Poland ought to have stayed in the Warsaw pact.